Mind-Control Technology

Have you ever heard about the experiment with the frog and the boiling water? . . . If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water he will jump out immediately, but if you put him is warm water and slowly bring it to a boil he will stay in there until he is cooked to death. . . Getting old is kind of like getting cooked to death, because it’s hard to recognize exactly when you get old.

I used to think I was a pretty technologically savvy guy. When I was 12 I taught myself Apple Basic, and Q Basic. I even programmed a couple of dumb word games.

Today, on my lunch break (in case my boss is reading this . . . actually, I’m writing this from the office now, so I guess I’ll be working late tonight) I stopped by a gaming store to check out the Wii. I haven’t had a system in years because I was spending too much time playing games (now I spend all my time messing around on the computer and reading books . . . oh well, so I’ll never be an international kick-boxing champion). I walked up to the display and was immediately baffled. There were no controllers. I knew that Nintendo had developed something cool with their controllers, but I didn’t realized they had discovered how to tap into my brain waves. I didn’t want to touch anything because I was afraid of looking stupid. Instead I just stood there with my jaw drooping and my nose scrunched up while my eyes scanned every tiny label and sticker to find some instructions. After a couple of minutes of this a store cleark, who looked to be about my age and was considerably more pale than me, greeted me.

“How’s it going.”

“Not bad.” I replied and hesitated before asking, “Is this a touch-screen system?”

“No the batteries are dead on the controllers.”

Ahh, the batteries! That one has always got me. Two weeks after my 10th Christmas I tore apart my first remote-controlled car trying to fix it. My mom approached me right about the time I had dismantled the car beyond repair and asked what I was doing. When I told her she informed me that the batteries were probably just dead, then walked away because she knew that car would never drive again.

So either I’m getting old, or I’m just dumb.

Someday I’ll have to tell you about my first encounter with a DVD player . . . it took me about 4 hours to figure out how to make it work.